Grateful For... | 2017

I have been trying very hard these last days, as we draw ever closer to the end of 2017, to focus on what I have, and what I am grateful for. Sometimes, I can feel tempted to focus on what I do not have, what's missing, what I think I need, especially material wise. But what if I can afford them, why not? Besides that, I tend to feel like it's not enough -- haven't push myself enough, haven't done enough, haven't done well enough..

As for this year, the one feeling that I can't shake, probably because I felt I have changed a lot along the way, might have caused some misunderstanding with my dear best friend, and, definitely I do miss her a lot, how are you?. I wished I had the chance to talk to you, and get things sorted out. Maybe, both of us are too high in our ego. Would I be forgiven? I really don't know what I have done wrong if only you would let me know my mistakes. Sometimes, we might change a little just to adapt to an environment, but Mandy is still Mandy, I miss you a lot. 

I am grateful to have a pair of loving parents. I am grateful to have my dad for being so supportive in terms of the path that I have chosen to go. I have made a lot of changes along the year, from work after diploma to going overseas for studies, which was quite a climax hahahaha. My dad was worried at first, and wouldn't even want to let me soar, but in the end, he changed his mind, he opened up, I am very grateful for his understandings. And also, my mom, definitely she helped a lot, being supportive as always from my endless love stories, studies and etc. She never complains that she has to wake me up for school and work, she never gets bored of making Milo for me every morning even when my dad nags about it, she never complains that I have too many activities going on... I am very grateful to have my dad and my mom. 

I am grateful to have friends that are always there for me, grateful to have them listening to all of my bullshits. I want to take this opportunity to say thank you. Because without them, I don't think I can go through this year alone. And also, to those friends that I have not met for quite some time, how are you? we should find a time to meet up! 

Besides that, I do have a secret angel (you know who you are), who is always there for me. That angel who was smart enough to know that I would struggle with all of this, and had tried ways to make me stay happy at all times, from surprise snacks to gifts. Although, sometimes you do pisses me off a lot, but nevertheless, I do appreciate what you've done for me. I know I will be leaving soon, and I have a lot of things on schedule, I know it's not going to be easy either, it's not easy for you to fix your schedule just to fit in with mine so that we can have more time together. I felt like I owe you a lot, I felt like I have not done enough for you. 

I am also grateful for all these opportunities -- been part of HERO Academy for coaching, Topshop for part-time, L'Officiel for an internship, Mickeymitez All-Star to compete in ACIC 2017, The Owls Cafe for part-time. I've learned a lot throughout the past, gained a lot of friendships along the way. They've brought me up to be a better person.